Mind Control and If you're reading this

I hand my mind the pen, relinquish control, let it wander, let it roam.

It takes me to a forest; we watch the trees swish and sway,

Birds chirping, sun shining -

It wants to remind me of when I looked at life this way.

Whilst we walk I see images of you, the man that made me blind.

I see us laugh, and then I watch myself cry,

All the colour drains from the trees

Their leaves shrivel and fall; I have to watch them die.

My mind berates me for putting it through this again - All the same pain.

The beauty around me has all but disappeared,

Shrouded in the hate I feel for you,

When I met you I felt queasy, this was what my mind had feared.

Leaving me to wallow, my mind gets up to leave, it can’t take this anymore; now is its turn grieve.

If you're reading this 

If you’re reading this it’s too late,
You've let me walk away.
If you’re reading this it’s too late,
We've said all we had to say.

If you’re reading this it’s over,
There are no more tears to shed,
It you’re reading this it’s over,
Every part of us is dead.

If you’re reading this I’m sorry,
I wish I could have stayed,
If you’re reading this I’m sorry,
You must lie in the bed you've made.